BRANDPOWDER FOR THE NOSE

A true story of hardship, time keeping and money making. A must read!

This is the name of the most incredible business ever conceived by a man with absolutely no background in marketing.

Dunez produced every kind of sandclocks to meet everybody’s taste. Pictured above, clockwise from top right: Golden Boredom, Time Waster, Nerd Dream, Wine Time, Frozen Sex and Blind Minute, this last a special stainless steel sandclock that gave you a spooky feeling about an unmeasurable time flow.

Top: this was Dunez’ famous poster, complimentary with every purchase.

Below: PRECISION WAS PARAMOUNT, AT  DUNEZ.

Everybody needed sharp tools. And a sharp eye, to work at Dunez.

Practical jokes were tolerated, occasionaly. Vulgarity helped workers to have a break from hard work and isolation, in such harsh conditions. But they couldn’t say the word “mayonnaise”. Ever. That was a nonsense rule I decided to impose just to make them understand who the boss was. They thought I was nuts.

“ONCE UPON A TIME, MEN COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT MEASURING TIME. BUT THEN THE USUAL SMART ASS CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF A DEVICE TO HARNESS THE QUIET, UNDISTURBED FLOW OF THE UNIVERSE. YEARS, DAYS, HOURS, MINUTES AND SECONDS WERE SYSTEMATICALLY SPLITTED IN SMALLER AND SMALLER PORTIONS. THAT WAS THE END OF PREHISTORIC HAPPINESS. AND THE BEGINNING OF MODERNITY, WHICH BOILS DOWN TO JUST ONE SENTENCE:

“WHAT THE FUCK! I’M LATE!”

THE TURNING POINT:

Well, this is the end of my story. I hope you enjoyed it. Personally, I didn’t. Especially considering the outcome and consequences of my choices. I am wasting my life in this filthy prison, sharing my room with two weirdos and a serial killer. To be honest, only sand-grinding was worse than this shit.

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