I will never eat grass (okay, if you insist, I’ll try to smoke it). Too much evolution took me ’till where I am today. I am omnivorous. I can’t ignore the wisdom of my ancestors. If I eat meat, there must be a reason. I’m sorry for the cow. Really. I even talk to the horny mammal before eating her. I mean, I’m not ‘eating her’. I just eat a small part. My sin, as you see, is a little one. But my crime is nothing compared to what Vegans do. Talking about which, I would like to remind them (the Vegans, not the cows) that it takes much more unscruplousness to kill a tomato than a cow. The cow can run for her life. She can scream or mooooow, trying to dissuade you. She can even look in your eyes! What about the red little friend? How can you Vegans slice his delicate skin off in such cold blood and then throw the dismembered little guy in a mixed salad where you probably, with the same determination, have already killed onions, potatoes, lettuce, beans, peas and innocent capers? I will never kill a tomato.